Too Stupid To Be A Man

Proverbs 30:2-4 Surely I am too stupid to be a man. I have not the understanding of a man. I have not learned wisdom, nor have I knowledge of the Holy One. Who has ascended to heaven and come down? Who has gathered the wind in his fists? Who has wrapped up the waters in a garment? Who has established all the ends of the earth? What is his name, and what is his son’s name? Surely you know!

Men typically don’t sit around and discuss how stupid they are, nor of how little they actually understand. But when I sit here with Agur the son of Jakeh in the quietness of the morning, I agree with him wholeheartedly. This man pens thirty-three verses that are written in Proverbs chapter thirty, and he tells me that he is too stupid to be a man, nor has he the understanding of a man. He has not learned wisdom, nor gained the knowledge of the Holy One. Yet the words from his pen are filled with wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. If he is too stupid to be a man, how much farther down the scale am I.

There was a season in my Christian walk where I found it easy to boast about what I knew. I fed myself the Scriptures, christian books, and multiple sermons every day. I wouldn’t have thought of myself as proud back then, but looking back I do see it now. My family was young, healthy and had never endured a season of suffering. Today we are a much different family, and I am a different man. We have suffered the loss of miscarriage, and carrying a baby girl with trisomy 13 for eight months named Mercy. It has been two years since her birth and death, and my family has yet to recover. We have gone through the darkness of horrific rebellion, physical sickness, disunity, and tasted evil. We are still in the valley, and I have not wanted to write for the past year. I have not wanted to search my heart, and process what is carved on the trees in the valley of the shadow of death. It’s dark in the darkness, and sometimes much easier to just be alone. O the world keeps spinning, and life must happen, but that doesn’t mean darkness cannot become somewhat comfortable.

Psalms 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

It is time for me to rise up and look for the One holding the rod and the staff. I have seen the hand of God amidst our trials, but I have not looked deeply and truly seen what I think I am meant to see. I write so that I know what I think. I have been uncertain as to what I think because I have not been writing. I intended to begin writing again when all was good, but now I don’t think that is what I am meant to do. I have been too stupid to be a man, and have not gained understanding. I have not learned wisdom, nor truly gained the knowledge of the Holy One. But I will look to the One with answers. I will open my eyes in the darkness and look for the “Son”. For he has ascended to the heavens. He has gathers the wind in his fists, wraps up the waters in a garment, and has established the ends of the earth! Where else can I go?

Advertisements

Remembering Mercy Two Years Later.

“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” -Lamentations 3:21-23

Tomorrow marks Mercy’s second birthday. For those who do not know, Mercy is our daughter who died 15 minutes before delivery on January 23rd, 2015. We found out at our 20 week appointment that our girl had trisomy 13. As we reflect on the time leading up to our beloved girl’s delivery, death, and birth; we are sweetly overwhelmed by the steadfast love of the LORD. We are called today, as we are every day, to remember his works, and his great faithfulness to us every morning.

To “remember” is to call to one’s own mind. It is good for the soul to remember all the Lord has done. To remember, rejoice, and overflow in thanksgiving upon how our sovereign God works in adversity. Today our family has found ourselves in a new, and in some ways deeper season of adversity. And so, it is good for our soul to remember how faithful he was to us in our loss of baby Mercy. We were showered with love through all the meals, the visits, the calls, the gifts, and the prayers. Numerous times, even times when despair knocked our door down; a verse, a song, or a text message shined hope into our feeble and shaky souls. Remembering today the steadfast love of the Lord causes new mercies to flow from grace through pain.

Hebrews 13:15 reminds us to “continually offer up the sacrifice of praise to God”. Sometimes, especially during times of adversity, giving thanks to God is a sacrifice. When the soul becomes clouded in the darkness of despair; it is at that point a thankful spirit feels an eternity away. Yet it is precisely during these dark times we must sacrifice our despairing thoughts on the alter of thanksgiving.

Today we remember Mercy. We rejoice this day in our sufferings, and offer up the sacrifice of thanksgiving to God for the brief moment of time we had with our daughter. We never knew one another face to face. And even now we know dimly of the sustaining grace, and future blessing Jesus has in store for our family. But we rejoice in hope of seeing the glory of God reflected upon every molecule in heaven. We rejoice in hope of that day when we will know in full, and see perfectly clear, that Jesus always has, and always will be for us and not against us.

We call this to mind, and therefore we have hope: the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new this, and every morning; great is his faithfulness! Happy Birthday Mercy! Your family misses you, loves you, and eagerly hopes through Christ to see you again soon. Even now, come Lord Jesus, come.

Scott & Karie David

A Year Apart From, Yet Never Without Mercy (by: Karie David)

(Written by: Karie David)

The room was silent except for the sounds of mumbled praying and stifled sobs. We waited for what seemed an eternity till the doctor came with her diagnosis, and also to give us choices.

The so called choice we were given was either to exterminate her life, or continue on with the pregnancy knowing that she would never have the ability to take one single breath of life. The diagnosis from the ultrasound stated our baby girl was incompatible with life. Yet within the recesses of my womb, her little beating heart was strong, and her movements sure.

I carried our baby for 33 weeks despite the choice given me by our doctor. She was born on January 23, 2015; sanctity of life weekend. Her life was a gift from the Lord. A weighty and pricey gift that came with a few strings attached. She was a gift that I would have to give back to the Lord in another heart wrenching sacrifice. A sacrifice of thankfulness for her life, however short it might be, and submission to God’s mysterious ways.

I look back now with great fondness that I would be chosen to be her mama. Her life in the womb, and her death outside has left our family changed and reeling with emotion; emotion that still runs rampant.

Suffering is intended to bring change. It is meant to have a transforming effect on our lives so that we will turn to the author and finisher of all life. Today, along with everyday, we walk by faith in the Son of God who loved us and gave himself for us. We are so thankful we kept believing and trusting that God works everything out for the good of those who love him.

IMG_1654By the way, we named our baby girl Mercy. She was a beautiful creation destined for heaven and gifted to us. She has been a constant reminder of God’s mercy toward us who believe. We loved her so much and enjoyed the time we had with her.

We often hear that time heals. I do not believe that to be true. I am convinced that Jesus is the healer and Great Physician of the hearts of mankind. He is the one that brings healing. He is the one who carried me through as I carried my sweet darling Mercy.

Happy Birthday Mercy. Your Mommy loves you and aches for the day I will see you again.

Karie David

Weeping For The Children

Weeping For The Children

As I read through Matthew chapter 2 this morning, I am reminded of the loss, of the weeping for my own children.

Herod was a wicked ruler. The Magi travel to the land of Herod asking a question; “where is he who has been born king?” They are not looking for a baby who would one day become king. They are looking for a baby who was born king.

This offended Herod. He convinces the Magi to let him know when and where they find this king because he wants to worship as well. Herod doesn’t even send along soldiers to make sure the Magi return. In the end, God himself needs to break in and inform the Magi in a dream not to return and tell Herod. This indicates the Magi had not picked up on Herod’s deception.

Herod is so mad that he orders all the male children 2 years and younger to be murdered. The commentaries I read say that the Jews were very low in number at this time. They estimate that a dozen or so boys would have been killed during this execution. Matthew indicates by his reference to Jeremiah that the mothers in Bethlehem were so very sad by the loss of their precious children. They wept loudly and refused to be comforted.

I know the loss of children. Two years ago today we found out our baby boy Justice had died in my wife’s womb. One year ago yesterday, we found out our baby girl Mercy had trisomy 13. We have had many times of loud weeping over the past two years. We have had times when we refused to be comforted. But we have hope!

We have hope because the King was born in Bethlehem! The dozen or so boys whose lives were sacrificed for the King, have indeed been brought to eternal bliss and joy because of the King’s sacrifice for them. Their lives were an offering. Their lives came as a result of sin. The King life was the ultimate offering. The King came as a result of sin. The ladies who lost their boys 2000 years ago refused to be comforted. It is hard during times of loss to look beyond the immediate pain to eternal hope and joy. But that is exactly what we must do in times of loss. Because the King came, we have hope! Because the King came, our weeping and loud lamentations can be turned to worship and adoration for the One who fled to Nazareth.

Dashed To Pieces By God

  • Read Job 16

This chapter really helps us to know what Job is feeling in his pain. He tells his friends that they are miserable comforters (verse 2). He says of God in verses 9 and 12–14:

Job 16:9a He has torn me in his wrath and hated me; he has gnashed his teeth at me;

Job 16:12–14 I was at ease, and he broke me apart; he seized me by the neck and dashed me to pieces;he set me up as his target; his archers surround me. He slashes open my kidneys and does not spare; he pours out my gall on the ground. He breaks me with breach upon breach; he runs upon me like a warrior.

I have not felt this way in the midst of our sufferings as a family. I read these verses to Karie (my wife) and she said she has felt the way Job felt. Hard things. Knowing God is sovereign over everything in all of creation, including our suffering, is both comforting and painful at the same time. Being dashed to pieces by an all loving and sovereign God is much better than by a madman. God has good purpose in all he does, including throwing his most faithful servant Job against a rock. 

Though He Slay Me

Though He Slay Me

“Though he slay me, I will hope in him;” (Job 13:15a ESV).

This cry from Job could have just as easily been spoken from the mouth of Jesus. On the cross, Jesus was slain by his father. “It was the will of the Lord to crush him (Jesus)” Isaiah 53:10a. Jesus, like Job, could hope in no other. If it be the father’s will to crush me, then crushed I shall be; for whom else shall I hope in, where else shall I go, or what else shall I do?

When we lost our son Justus, we were crushed. My beloved wife felt as though she had been slain. So many emotions, so many thoughts, so much passion flows in and through a mother who holds life in her womb. Then in an instant to find out that life has been taken from you destroys something deep inside the broken mommy. Karie felt slain. But, just as Job hoped in God, just as Jesus hoped in his Father; my beloved hoped in the only one who could raise the dead. She knew that she could not fill herself with hope. She knew that she could not raise her sorrowing soul to life once again. She was slain, and needed to be raised by the only one who has the power to bring life from death.

Morning by morning Karie went to the Word of God looking for her Lord. Months of looking, months of seeking, searching, and crying; he came. “Those who seek, find.” Be encouraged suffering saint whomever you are. God is never far from the broken hearted. Keep crying, keep seeking, keep searching for God through His Word. He will be found by you. Where else shall you go? Whom else shall you hope? Though he slay you, yet you will hope in HIM.

Though He Slay Me, Shane And Shane

You Will Be Beautiful 

“I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall exult in my God, for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation; he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.” (‭Isaiah‬ ‭61‬:‭10‬ ESV)

Believe it or not, I am still going through the verses that folks like you sent us in cards, emails and the like during the loss of our daughter Mercy. I am most definitely not a scholar on the book of Isaiah. I glance over at the study notes in my ESV Study Bible and it says that the speaker of this verse is either “the Messiah, the prophet Isaiah, or Zion herself.” So…okay then…but, in either case, all would be true of the redeemed children of God as well. I will greatly rejoice in the Lord (Romans 5:11) because he has clothed me with the garments of salvation and covered me with the robe of righteousness (Philippians 3:9) as a bridegroom decks himself or a bride adorns herself (Ezekiel 16:8; Revelation 19:7, 21:2, 21:9). So in a devotional such as this, I think it is appropriate to apply it as if the speaker was Isaiah who is equally a redeemed child of God just like you and me.

During the moments of my day to day life, I do not rejoice in the Lord the way I shall. Someday my soul shall exult so deeply in my God because he has clothed me with Christ, the ultimate garment of my salvation. Surely he has clothed me now, and will grant me the capacity to glorify him more when I am free from this wretched body of flesh. The picture of the bridegroom decking himself with a headdress and the bride adorning herself with jewels is a picture of beauty. God is the ultimate designer of all beauty. He is the aesthetic King of the universe. And this King will adorn his bride in splendor and glory. 

You may not look in the mirror this morning and see beauty. Chances are if you do, it is probably a sinful vanity. Yet one day you will stand before your King clothed in wedding garments of such a kind that you will have no equal. You will not be autonomously beautiful in and of yourself. Your beauty will be one of unity with your fellow redeemed brothers and sisters in Christ. Your beauty will be given to you by King Jesus! He has robed you with the garments of salvation, and one day you and I will see ourselves clothed in these garments. You will greatly rejoice in the Lord, and your soul shall exult in your God.  You will be beautiful!

Mercy Me, Beautiful 

True Love Conquers!

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭37–39‬ ESV)

This passage of Scripture is one of the most encouraging in all of the Bible. True, blood purchased love conquers anything! We are told that because of God’s inseparable love for us, we can do nothing other than ultimately conquer anything! No angel, demon, or human ruler will defeat us. Nothing that haunts us from our past, nor anything coming in the future will destroy us. No power, nor elevation, nor depth, nor anything else in all of creation can cause us defeat. Because of God’s love for us in Jesus, we WILL CONQUER! LOVE CONQUERS!

The main truth of this passage enables us to reason back to human love through Jesus. The love Karie and I have for our children is true, blood purchased love. This love cannot be severed and removed out of our hearts for any reason. Nothing can seperate our children from us because the love we have for them is blood purchased and true. No rebellion, no devil, nor demon can cause ultimate seperation. No human ruler, no haunting past, nor any future event can sever and destroy love. No power, no distance, no sickness or health, not even life itself can cut asunder the love we have for them. And because nothing in all of creation can separate our love from our children; they WILL CONQUER! They may stumble and fall down. They may run and hide. They may bar their teeth and bite. They may lay comatose on a gurney gasping their last breath. But they will conquer.

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6)

AMEN! Come Lord Jesus! COME!