By Hebrews 12:11–15 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;
It is really hard to want to head off to work this morning. I teach my kids over and over that we are not to be led down the track by our feelings car, but rather are to pull our feelings by our reason. I know that is true, yet I feel so much like staying home. My beloved wife still aches both physically and emotionally. She still can not sleep in bed because of the pain in her chest. She told me she was fearful and anxious when I left last night with the kids for youth group. Yet thirty minutes from now I will be heading south in my one ton work van to fix the world with a wrench.
For the moment, this discipline seems painful. The author of Hebrews speaks into my heart. But later .. later .. later .. ? A harvest is coming? A harvest of righteousness. It is so easy to slip into the thinking that I am righteous enough. Like I would even to dare to life up my eyes to heaven and say to God that I don’t really need any more righteousness. I’ll just stay in the good enough stage until I get to glory. Then I’ll have all the righteousness I need; but now? Having righteousness now is .. well .. it’s painful.
My hands are drooping. My knees are weak. The path ahead seems crooked. Yet my Bible is telling me that the kinks in my hands, knees, and path need to be set strait in order to heal strait.
Down feelings .. down boy. What do the Go Fish Guys say? “I’m a superhero flying around, no need to worry, their safe and sound; battling evil, fighting for good, I’m a superhero in your neighborhood.” Blah!
Times up. Please pray for my beloved Karie today. Two days of work, then the weekend. Her Mom is here. She will be wonderfully cared for. Jesus is Lord. He cares for her both through me and through others. Lifting, Strengthening, Straightening.
Leading Family Devotions 
You write so beautifully, it allows us to really feel your pain. Such a difficult task…. to not be controlled by our feelings, but one we must keep striving to achieve. Its a matter of obedience to our Lord, choosing Him not self. My heart aches for your dear wife. I will continue to uplift your family in prayer.
Hebrews 4:16
let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need
Thank you
I have been praying for you and Karie since I read this first thing this morning! Your family is continually on my mind and in my murmured prayers throughout the day.