“There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—
A time to give birth and a time to die;
A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.”
Today is Sunday morning, and nearly a week has passed since we learned that our 21 week baby girl has Trisomy 13. My eyes opened at 5:03 am. I lay a few minutes trying to decide whether I should get out of bed or not. My wife stirred and rolled with her back towards me. I took the opportunity to move close, rest my head against her back, and my left hand around her beautiful belly. I tried to find a spot where I might feel Mercy moving around. No movement from either my daughter or my wife. Ten minutes passed and I slipped out of bed. I threw on some baggy cloths and proceeded to head out to the kitchen to brew my dark roast coffee.
Before my hand reached the door handle, my wife asked me if I wanted to try to feel my baby girl moving. I turned on a dim light, took off my glasses and placed my hand on the spot she guided me. Within 20 seconds I felt Mercy press against the palm of my hand. I felt her a total of six times. After the second press, I broke down and began to weep, thankful and blessed I had the opportunity to feel her movement before her heart stops beating here.
Karie said to me after the sixth press, “she’s done, she performed for you.” I slid my face down to her belly, thanked my little girl, and told her that I loved her.
We will be heading off to Church in a few short hours. It will be the first time we have entered the house of God since the news of Mercy’s condition. I am a bit fearful to go. I am not sure why. Probably because I do not want to break down and cry while I sing to the One who will take our baby before we ever have the chance to hold her.
I keep singing the song by Selah this morning. I will link to it again in case you desire it to be in your mind and heart as well.