My Precious 16 Week Old Baby

Job 1:20-21 “Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, “ Naked I came from my mother ‘s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

I’ve only known you for eleven weeks and I already love you so much. I learned of your existence on your Mommy’s fortieth birthday. It was the best present that she could have ever wished for. Actually, you came to us not by a wish, but through the heartfelt longing and prayer of your Mother and I. She had asked the Lord to be your Mother before she turned 40 and He gave us knowledge of your existence on her birthday. What a happy day that was. I remember lifting up my hands in praise to God and dancing around your siblings playground in celebration of the news.

I am writing to you to clear my head. I know that you would never desire to return to this earth because the place you are at is not even worthy to be compared with the place your Mommy and I are. The One who sits on the throne where you are is named Jesus Christ. I have never had the blessing of seeing him with my eyes, though I have pictured him many times with my eyes of faith. Jesus has done the most loving thing for you that he could do for any person. He has spared you from seeing and experiencing the pain and agony of our world. He has taken you to be with him before we ever saw your little body. We saw you by faith because we saw your Mommy’s belly growing, but Jesus has been forming you from the very beginning. He knows the plans he has for you and they involve never seeing or knowing sin. What a glorious plan that is my dear child. We are grateful that he has been so kind to you.

Also we are grateful for the joy you brought into our home for the eleven weeks we knew you. You have four siblings here on earth. Ali is 14, Rylee is 12, Sammy is 3 and Elsa just turned 2. All of them were so eager for you to be born. All of them have been changed a little more into the image of your King through knowing of your coming. When we saw your body last night on the ultra-sound, we were crushed beyond any pain we have ever felt. We love you so much and are still so sad that we will have to wait so many years to meet you. We have a very hard duty ahead of us tomorrow. We have to have Mommy induced so that your body can be removed. We have chosen to have you removed by going through the entire birth process so that your body will not be harmed. We anticipate being able to see your body tomorrow and learn whether you are a boy or a girl. We will give you a name for our comfort. I know Jesus has given you a new name where you are, but we desire to name you for ourselves as well. Some day you will return to this earth and be united with your body. When that happens we will reign together with Jesus.

There was a man that lived on the earth named Job. If you ask around you will find him up where you are. There was not a more righteous man on earth when he lived among us. I respect this man so much even though I never met him. He has given me a perspective of you that I desperately need today. He has taught me that I am to hold everything with an open hand, including you. The pain that I feel at your loss is partly because I have tried to hold on to you in my own strength.

The Lord has given me and my family 11 weeks of knowing you. The Lord has taken you away from us and I am so very thankful for the time you spent with us. I pray King Jesus will give me and your mom the grace to get through tomorrow. We love you beloved child and, though we desire so much to meet you, we will have to be content to wait.

Thank you Jesus for the privilege of participating in your sufferings. You are more precious to me than anything I could ever hold. Give us the blessing of knowing you more.